An elephant's faithful ... sometimes -- Forensics--stalking the elephant -- My book about me -- I can write! -- "I am a fellow o' th' strangest mind i' th' world ..." -- Theodor grows a welt -- "From there to here and here to there" -- Destiny blinx -- You can book a judge by its cover -- "Time, a maniac scattering dust" -- Standard was automatic -- Secrets of the deep -- What else can this Ted guy sell? -- Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness -- The annual brat-books -- Shunning his frumious brand of sneetch -- Changing views -- Taxing the axis -- Moving pictures -- The missing Linnix -- A very big year -- Misunderstanding Dr. Seuss.